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They'll all fall

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Combined seduction and relationship attitude course - a vision

Brian comments on Thundercat's writeup about "The 40-year-old Virgin:

Thundercat lists the Lessons From The 40 Year Old Virgin and then develops it into his system for helping guys in similar situations move in to the realm of not being forty year old virgins. The clips of the The 40-Year-Old Virgin preview looks cute but the advice in the clips is not really the best . . . certainly the character's application of it is not the best. I suspect there is a market here for teaching guys to do it right . . . and by right I don't mean just losing one's virginity, I mean building worthwhile meaningful relationships and losing one's virginity.

I have also noticed a strong division between those that teach effective techniques for attracting women, and those that teach sane things about relationships.

My guess is that both of these boil down to practice. Those that are good at keeping relationships working hasn't had that much practice in hunting girls - why would they? So they don't know that much about it. Those that have had a lot of practice hunting girls usually are so-so on the relationship front.

I've still not decided if trying to combine the two types of course is good idea. I would like for it to be a good idea, so I'll just list the challenges I see and hope that Brian finds out how to deal with them.

  • Many of the guys that take such a course is likely to have a bunch of psychological problems that really are what's blocking them. Fixing these problems can be a challenge.
  • Making people able to get a girl in the first place seems to need quite a bit of practice. That is, doing approaches over time, getting used to talking to girls, getting used to being sexual, gaining the confidence to start being picky, etc. Training the relationship techniques at the same time as you start this process seems to be inefficient.

Actually, that seems to be all of it. That might be worthwhile. I think such a course could be great. To make it work, I would structure it as follows:

  1. Interview with each potential participant, before admitting them to the course. This would try to identify if the challenges of this participant would be met by the course, and if the participant seemed off, try to guide the potential participant in a direction that's more suited.
  2. Run a weekend course with going through some techniques, some ethics, pick away approach anxiety, train on actually doing approaches, maybe some simulation of situations, and a little background on relationships in case somebody happens to bump into them during the next period.
  3. Let the participants train at home for a period from one month to half a year , with followup by message boards and chat. To make them follow up on this, also use hypnosis at the weekend course.
  4. Run another weekend course, with focus on how to define yourself ("Building more personality"), how to set up your filters for what kind of girl you want, how to interact in dating to end up with a fullfilling relationship. Maybe include some communications theory for how to run a relationship (inspired by the PREP method or similar).
  5. Followup period, with discussion forum plus chats.
  6. Potentially: Make it possible to arrange for the participants to join PREP courses or similar when they actually get into relationships, to work on both sides of the relationship. This doesn't have to happen at once, I guess, so maybe the same instructor could tutor that, too.


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