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They'll all fall

Sunday, May 15, 2005

On what I am

I've just had one of my friends read this blog and conclude that I'm an asshole, that I view women as things. I feel that's a long distance from who I am and how I see the world. I care about everybody I meet, and I get sad by having somebody interpret me that way.

So - how am I from my point of view?

I'm grounded in science. At one level, my view of the world is that people are similar, work according to rules, a series of chemical reactions that are similar. That worldview is simple, systematic, and the view I mostly run this blog from. The blog is targetted to the seduction.player/therapist community - and for that community, I believe that view is the most effective. An interaction between a man and a woman is a seduction, for an interation to result in a relationship, each person needs to do the "right" thing. Each person needs to follow (consciously or unconsciously) the techniques for influence, for amping sexual attraction, for feeling closer to another person and making that person feel closer to him or her self.

But - viewing that perspective as the whole of me? I view each person I interact with as an individual. I view each person as somebody I want to have a good time, as somebody I want to improve the life of, as somebody I hope I can leave something of value with. And, ultimately, I hope to find somebody I can share my life with, and that in sharing that life I can make that person have a better life.

I once spent about three years having sex at text message away, never letting anybody close, just being a player - and yet, I did whatever I could to make each of the people I "played" know where they had me, know what I could give them, and to the best of my ability I helped them find somebody else that could fill more of their needs.

Yes, I walk up to people and talk to them. I try to make them have a good time, but I'll admit I've also tested out how rude I can be - and still have them have a good time. I've yet to have them dislike it when I'm rude - only when I try to be polite and nice. And the only cases I've ended up in bed with somebody after this has been when somebody has pulled *me* to bed - almost literally.

I've got a good relationship with everybody I've done anything with since I started doing this systematically. To the best of my knowledge, I've not hurt anybody, and I've cared for everybody involved. I've given my love when I could - when the person I've been with has been interested in anything more, when it could work with more between us.

I don't know what more I can do. Sure, I've learned the skills, and I'm still learning them - but - isn't the issue what I do with my skills? If I use them to the best of all I meet - to the best of my ability - can't I still be a good person, even with skills?

4 Comments:

  • Well, if it makes you feel any better, I don't think you are an asshole :) In fact, your blog seems to be rooted in advice rather than personal experiences.
    We all burn through people at some point in our lives but then end said phase. I wouldn't worry about it too much. From what I have seen, you are a pretty nice guy :)
    ~K

    By Blogger katehopeeden, at 10:43 PM  

  • Sure, you might be able to be a good person even "even with skills", as you put it. I just don't see anything in your blog that makes me think you particularly *want* to be a good person (or *try* to be a good person). hence, I'm not sure what you really are asking - you might as well ask "can't I be a good rugby player, even with skills?". Sure you might be a good rugby player, there's just nothing here that give me any reason to think you are.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:40 PM  

  • Nope, there's nothing here that particularly go in that direction. Everything that's here is skills/goal focused.

    It's the same as when I write on various aspects of computer systems design. There's nothing there to say I'm a good person, either.

    The real question is: Is there any reason to conclede that I'm *not* a good person from this blog?

    The only thing I know I could do to turn it towards "good" inside the profile it has would be to run posts on ethics; I've considered that, but I find every post I write on the topic end up either trivial or turning to mush...

    By Blogger Eek, at 1:28 AM  

  • why care what the hell he thinks. He dosent understand you cuz your beliefs are different. he's just trying to make you conform to the norm.

    By Anonymous john, at 5:04 AM  

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